How to break bad habits and create better ones so you can achieve the success you want. We all have some bad habits that are preventing us from realizing our dreams. And those habits unconsciously creep on us. By the time we notice the habit, it’s already been formed.
Many people struggle in life and at work because of the habits that sneak up on them along the way. Have you ever wonder why someone is so successful in the workplace while others remain stuck in one position at the bottom of the ladder? It’s because that person develops some terrific habits of productivity.
The bad news is, it’s really hard to break those bad habits. Yes, it’s easy to form them. After all, we were present when we created them. There was no pain involved.
On the other hand, a good habit is rarely created on its own. It takes efforts to form them consciously. Fortunately, there’s a proven and scientific way to break those bad habits. That is exactly what this video is about.
Okay, why is breaking bad habits is so critical? Well, think about your future self. The habits you create now will most definitely dictate the quality of your life tomorrow.
Whether you agree with me or not, you are going to be 50, 60, or 70 years old. There’s no way around it. You will get old. You need to be kind to that 60 years old you. Be considerate and thoughtful. Be mindful.
If not, you will eventually end up living in regrets. You will be disappointed. You will live with a life full of resentments.
Nothing is sadder to meet a grumpy old man full of regrets moaning, complaining, and making excuses. He is blaming people, things, and circumstances. It’s the wife’s fault. It’s the government. It’s the boss. I mean one excuse after another.
How Habits Are Formed
To form a habit, it takes a trigger, behavior, and a reward. The trigger prompts you to take an action or behave a certain way. Then you feel good or great depending on the action. Every behavior has a good intention. Yes, I do mean every behavior. Even when the behavior is evil, the intention of the behavior is to reward the person.
There are two kinds of triggers. There’s the hot trigger. There’s the cold trigger.
The hot trigger is associated with instant gratification. Simply put, you get a reward instantly. You open the refrigerator and you see the ice cream. That’s a hot trigger. You then consume the ice cream. Then you feel good. You get rewarded.
How about a cold trigger? Now, we are talking about delayed gratification. You get the reward later. Let’s say you are driving and you hear an advertisement on the radio for something you are interested in. The announcer mentions the website.
Well, you cannot go to the site because you don’t have a computer and internet access right there. That’s a cold trigger. You will take the action and get the reward later.
The Habit Loop
So, the sequence of the trigger, routine or behavior, and reward is called the habit loop. It always happens in the same sequence without fail. Do you see how is you can create some bad habits without being aware of it?
How to Break Bad Habits
Okay, we talked about how we form those bad habits. How do we break them for good?
The answer is easy. Remove the triggers. Don’t put ice cream in your refrigerator. Make sure your environment is without hot triggers.
How to Form Good Habits
To form good habits, you need to learn how to turn your cold triggers into hot triggers. As I just mentioned, if you remove the alcohol or ice cream, they automatically become hot triggers.
Now, you have to get dressed, get in your car, and fight traffic to get the ice cream. All those steps might discourage you. Also, the reward is no longer instant. Since we know the brain is wired for instant gratification, it will find something else to reward it.
Keep this in mind, this is your real life. You are not on this earth to rehearse this life. Some people live as if they are coming back to do it for real. That’s pretty sad. That’s why I’m imploring to start breaking those bad habits as soon as you.
In life we always have choices. We can choose to focus on the negative or the positive. No one can take away that power from us.
Unfortunately, a lot of people choose to focus their energy on what not working versus what’s working. When the difficult times arrive, they choose to give them the wrong meaning.
Our lessons and gifts in life don’t always come as chocolate covered ice cream. Sometimes they come as a rose stem full of thorns. It’s not until we accept the thorns and plant the stem in the water of faith, the rose begins to unfold.
Some people would ask me if I’m always happy and fired up. They think because I’m a motivational speaker, life is always amazing for me. No, I’m not always Mr. Motivator. I have had moments of despair, worries, and uncertainties just like everybody. That’s called life. Please watch this video and you will see what I mean.
In life, you will always get what you tolerate. If you tolerate mediocrity, you will get more of it. If you tolerate others to behave a certain way, they will continue to do so until you put your foot down.
If you are an entrepreneur and some of your employees are mediocre, you need to stop tolerating them. If you don’t, they will eventually ruin your business. They will cause your good customers and employees to leave.
Simply put, pay people for excellence instead of lousiness. Reward excellence instead of mediocrity.
If you are a boss and some members of your team are unproductive and mediocre, don’t tolerate them. They can slow down your team members.
Now, I’m not asking you to go around and start firing people. If you think about it, most people have what it takes to be excellent. They have the internal resources to show up and perform at their best. They just don’t know how to access their available resources.
That means your first option is not to get rid of your underperforming team members. Instead, you should help and empower them to raise the bar of excellence on themselves.
The best way to do so is to first raise the bard on yourself. You have to model excellence for them. You also need to coach and train them.
In this video, you will discover the three ways to make sure everyone performs with excellence.
Being negative is our default. If you want to be positive and happy, you will need to work at it daily. I want to share with you the right triggers to psyche yourself so you can trigger your happy button.
The last time I had an interview, the lady asked me if I’m always pumped up, motivated, and happy. The answer is a big NO. There are times when I’m in the basement of life. Life is not always peachy and exciting for me. And I’m not alone.
The gurus, preachers, thought leaders, and motivational speakers you see out there have their own share of struggles just like everyone else. They are humans. They face the same challenges we all face.
The only difference is, somehow those preachers, teachers, and speakers believe they have some form of control over their situation. They have the right attitude about life. They know there’s always something they can do to improve. In psychology that is called locus of control.
Refuse Be A Victim
The reality is, the moment you realize there’s nothing you can do to overcome your current challenge, you are in trouble. You become a victim. And your victim attitude will cause you to remain stuck.
If you believe you have control, your mind will work overtime to come up with the right solutions and possibilities. You become the captain of your soul and the master of your destiny. The glass is half full instead of half empty.
You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, I don’t have any control over the way my husband, wife, or coworkers behave. I can’t change them.” You are right. People are going to be who they are regardless of your desire to change them.
But, I want you to know you still have some control. You can choose your reaction or the way you respond. You were born with that freedom. No one can take it away from you, even if you were behind bars in a prison cell. That’s right. You can still choose to react or respond to your circumstances the way you want to.
I know we are living in a world that can be very depressing. I also know we are living in the most exciting times in history. There are also so many things we can be happy about. It all depends on our focus.
If you wake up every day and start looking for what’s wrong with this world, you will find what’s wrong. On the other hand, if you wake up and start looking for what’s right, you will see what’s wrong. It’s that simple.
How to do you make sure you are always looking at the sunny side of everything? Is it possible to be happy and motivated with so many television stations broadcasting the bad news?
The answer is, YES!
Being negative is easy. All you have to do is to wake up. You don’t have to do anything. You will be sad, depressed, and happy. Other people in your environment will contribute to your dissatisfaction.
Here’s How To Be Happy And Motivated
To be positive and motivated, you will need to work at it. It’s not automatic. Every morning, you will need to work on yourself before you start interacting with others.
Start your morning with empowering rituals. Exercise, pray or meditate, listen to some powerful and uplifting music. Have some daily mantras. Tell yourself that today is going to be a FANTASTIC day. Remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive. Keep repeating your mantras through the day.
I know that sounds so trite. You probably say to yourself, “I heard that before. Nonsense.” But, can I ask you a question? Are you practicing that every day? You see, common sense is not common practice.
I am practically showing you how to mess with your mind instead of letting it mess with you. If you dismiss what I’m sharing here with you, that’s your mind messing with you.
I challenge you to start your day with a great exercise program, pray, meditate, read your affirmations aloud, and listen to uplifting music.
You WILL have a superb day. You will be a lot happier. You will have a much better attitude to face the day and negative people in your environment.
If you have been in the workplace for the last ten or twenty years, you know it’s not what it used to be. In fact, things are not even what they used to be one or two years ago.
Digital disruptions have indeed disrupted everything. We used to compete with each other to get the best job or promotion. Today we have to worry about a different kind of competition.
The robots are coming to take over millions of jobs. It’s called the robot invasion. But there’s good news. Robots are not human beings. Yes, we now have smart everything. Smart telephones. Smart glasses. Smartwatches. Smart health monitoring. And some people are getting lazier by relying on those things too much.
The big question is, will robots or the smart devices ever be able to replace human beings entirely? The answer is a big NO.
Undoubtedly, the AI (artificial intelligence) pundits will engineer robots that hugely resemble, act, and behave like human beings. We will be blown away or even scared by their resemblance and intelligence. But there will always be a missing ingredient.
Men will never be able to put a soul or spirit inside a robot. It doesn’t matter how much computational power men put inside a robot; it will remain a smart and animated object without natural feelings and emotions.
Robots will never be able to feel and emote in real time base on meanings and meta-meanings. They are programmed to respond based on conditional logic. The term is IFTTT (If this then that.) That is called the “robot paradox.”
Alright, before anyone accuses me of being anti-progress or technology, let me say I am a big proponent of technological advances. I love technology! I encourage digital disruptions. That said, let me offer a few ideas on how to prepare to compete with the robots.
How To Compete With Robots In The Workplace
If you and I are going to compete with the robots and win, we must unleash our excellence. We have to show up every day and be so excellent and impressive that people would riot and demand to be served by us instead of robots. Excellence is our default.
There’s nothing ordinary about us. We are so complexed that it takes doctors years to become specialists in one part of the body. Some choose to study the heart, eye, hand, feed, kidney, ear, nose, etc.
After thousands of years, they are unable to master those parts fully. In the men vs. robots battle, we only need to be cognizant of who we are. We need to use our excellence to outthink and compete with the robots.
What is Excellence?
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Will Durant (Not Aristotle)
I’m sure there are many definitions of the word excellence. To me, excellence is an attitude. It’s not something or a skill you learn. It’s a state of being.
It’s showing up every day with the best version of yourself. Be remarkable. Stand out. Be so so amazing on purpose that your company will never trade you for a robot. It’s that simple.
Increase your value to the point where a robot cannot replace you in the workplace. In other words, the measure of your excellence hinges upon how powerfully you can engage and retain the attention and wow your coworkers, customers, and suppliers.
Excellence is your lever to make yourself indispensable in the workplace. The best part is, you don’t need any training, money, or connections to unleash your awesomeness. It’s already in you.
I came to the US when I was in my twenties. I was broke, and I was struggling to learn English. I could not get a decent job anywhere. I did many odd jobs to make ends meet.
A lady was offering CNA (certified nursing assistant) training. I signed up and obtained my CNA license. It was a significant achievement for me. I got a job to take care of a man who was in his senior years. He was wealthy and well connected.
However, it was tough for him to find and keep the right caretaker. Every week, they would hire a different person. That ended the day I arrived.
I delivered so much excellence that the entire family fell in love with me. I showed with the right attitude. Anything that needed to be done was my job. I would bathe the man, brush his teeth, and even help him have a bowel movement.
Then, I would do a few other things that were not in my job description. I would clean the bathrooms, mopped the floor, and water the plants. Yes, they had a maid, nurse, and all kinds of assistance.
But, it didn’t matter to me. I didn’t have the attitude that it’s my job or department. I was there to serve. The man eventually passed away in my hands around two o’clock in the morning. It was an incredible and magical experience.
As he was gasping for his last few breaths, he looked at me peacefully as if he wanted to say goodbye with gratitude. On the surface, it appeared that the man didn’t have much in common with me.
He was a wealthy Jewish American man, and I was a broke Haitian immigrant learning how to speak English. But we were spiritually connected.
We laughed and cried together. When the man was hurting, I would feel his pains. We bonded. His brother told I was the last best friend he had. That’s what I mean.
I consciously decided to be irresistibly excellent. Can a robot create such magical moments?
After Mr. Arnovitz’s death, a whole new world of opportunity showed up for me. The family fought over who gets to hire me. I had many offers… lots of choices.
Eventually, I settled to work for a hotshot law firm in Atlanta where one of the children was a founding partner.
3 Simple Ways To Be Excellent
1. Consciously Commit
Commit to being excellent. That’s the first step. Excellence is effortless once you commit to it. It’s who you are at your core. Take a walk down the street, and you will see loads of people living average lives.
Somehow, they have forgotten their awesomeness. They show up and do average work. They carry average conversations. It’s an unconscious process for them. They are not aware of it.
Excellence is a decision you make to stand out and be remarkable among the crowd. It’s a form of enlightenment.
2. Travel The Extra Mile
Decide to go the extra mile in everything you do. That alone should separate you from the ordinaries crowd. Think about it this way: The highway to success is extremely crowded. There is always a traffic jam.
Why not get on the extra mile lane so you can zoom your way to the top of your company? Have you ever seen people at the ivory toward in your company who don’t seem as intelligent as you are? Have you ever seen people who come in and they keep getting one promotion after another without much seniority?
It’s because they took the lane less traveled. That lane is called the extra mile lane. Most people show up to work and do just enough to get paid or not to get fired.
That means if you show up and do more than you are being paid for, you are a champion. To be average, you don’t have to do anything. Society has already conditioned us to be average.
3. Think Excellence
When you are doing your job, have the mindset that you are delivering excellence. If you are servicing a customer, don’t think of customer service. Instead, think of service excellence.
Ask yourself, “How can I wow this person and create a buzz about my company and myself?” Guess what happens when you ask yourself that question?
You automatically access your greatness. You are reprogramming your subconscious mind for excellence.
As I said before, the world is going through some radical changes. And the train is not about to stop or slow down. Expect to see a takeover in your company.
Maybe your organization is in the middle of a merger or acquisition. Maybe another company will step in during process and acquire your company. It’s crazy! Maybe soon an army of robots will roll in and take over.
But, here’s what you must keep in mind:
Robots are objects. They are not human beings nor will they ever be. It’s time to up your game. The men vs. robots battle can only be won by showing up with the best version of yourself. You can connect soul to soul with people.
You can trigger the right emotions with your excellence. You can remain employable and indispensable by the sheer power of your awesomeness. Deliver excellence. Purposely amaze your co-workers, bosses, and customers.
When you get in the habit of shocking the world with your awesomeness, you will never be afraid of layoffs, acquisitions, or mergers. Your first step is to make an unwavering commitment to get an extra mile every day.
Always do more than what is expected of you. That’s how you position yourself for the next promotion. That’s how you get to climb the corporate ladder. That’s how you become indispensable.