How would you like to more cooperation from your team members, teenage kids, or acquaintances? Is it possible to get people say yes without being pushy?
The answer is yes. There’s a way to get others to do your bidding or comply with your requests. Also, they will never know your strategy. You are about to learn how to do so in this video.
However, I urge to use this tool responsibly. It’s not intended for manipulation. It’s merely a way to get others to cooperate with you to get things done.
So, what I want to share with you is a magic phrase you can use to bypass the conscious mind and make the request to the subconscious mind. Here’s the phrase:
You don’t have to…
It’s that simple. You tell the person he or she doesn’t have to do what you are asking. Here’s why this is so powerful:
As human beings, the one thing we value and cherish above anything else is the freedom to choose. Any time someone tries to take it away from us, we are ready to fight.
That is why an entire nation would bend together and risk their lives in front of tanks and machine guns to overthrow a dictatorship government. When it comes to freedom no one is willing to negotiate.
Breakups happen in relationships because one partner is trying to dominate or take away the freedom of the other. Kids rebel because they feel like their parents are taking away their freedom.
When you tell a person he or she does not have to do something, you automatically let them know their freedom is not at stake. That’s how you get more compliance from others.
This is essentially one of the powerful tools for persuasion and influence. Simply put, it’s reverse psychology. Try it, and you will notice a drastic difference in the way people respond to you when you ask for a favor.
By the way, when you combine the word favor and this strategy, your odds will increase drastically.
Think about it this way, the word favor implies the person is not obligated to do what you are asking. Do you see why this can be so effective?
Let’s see how you can use this in a real-life situation. Suppose you are the leader in your company. Corporate just sent a memo to you about the need to have all your employees on deck tomorrow. They just launched a marketing campaign. They are expecting an influx of new customers.
One of your team members is supposed to be off on that day. You call a meeting with the employee. You say something like…
“I just received a memo from corporate. They are expecting a flood of new customers to come in tomorrow. They want everyone to be present. Sorry, it’s your off day. But we need to you to show up.”
How well do think that would go? Do you think that’s demanding instead of asking? Of course, it is demanding. Chances are, you will a no. Your team member will fight your demand.
Let’s see how you approach this differently. You tell the employee…
“I just received a memo from corporate. The VP of operations or marketing is expecting a flood of new customers. They want me to be fully staffed. I know tomorrow is your day off. But, I need you to do me a favor. Can you come tomorrow? You don’t have to. But if you did, it would mean the world to the team and me.”
Do you see how that would be different? You are asking. You are not imposing or demanding. You are leaving the person with the freedom to choose.
If you are the head of the human resources department, this strategy can be very useful to you. HR professionals often are the people who get to make a lot of unusual requests, especially during times of difficult change in the workplace.
Let’s face it; the world is changing at a rapid pace. Our challenges are new and different. Businesses cannot afford to rely on old ideas to prosper. In fact, almost all the methods and strategies companies used to deploy to succeed are obsolete.
Yes, some things will never change. As an example, how people respond and behave will remain the same. For example, we have to continue wowing our customers and clients so they can stay loyal. However, the ways to do so are different. We now have new communication channels.
Even the value and supply chain we depended on to turn raw ideas into products and services are now radically different. New suppliers and providers are entering the marketplace every day from around the world.
The question is, how do we stay relevant and profitable in an economy that is so fickle?
The answer is simple: More Inclusion
It’s not enough to wait for the top executives at the C-Suite to come up with the right solutions. We need a new level of thinking. We need a big melting pot of ideas and insights.
We have to leverage the power of feedback.
That requires contribution at every level of the organization. We must inspire and engage everyone in the workplace in sharing their ideas.
Inclusion in today’s workplace is critical.
The world is shrinking. Our borders are almost nonexistent. The faces in the workforce are diverse. The remarkable thing is, everyone has a unique perspective. They see and process life with different lenses.
That’s why we need more inclusion in the workplace. Here’s another way to look at it:
Inclusion doesn’t mean to involve just the team members in the workplace. It’s also mean to include our customers and clients. It’s not enough to guess what would make want to buy from us.
We need to ask them. That means we need to include them so the can help us create what they want and need.
Think of McDonald’s. They now install computers inside their stores to allow the customers to customize their menu. They want to gather data on exactly what we wish to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It used to take years to collect that data. Now they get it in real time.
That’s what I mean by inclusion. Make every customer, employees, and suppliers a part of your process. And that is regardless of what they look like or sound like.
People want to contribute if we allow them. A sense of contribution is a deep psychological need they have to fulfill.
When we influence them to contribute, they also fulfill other needs such as love/connection and the need to belong.
So, start installing suggestion boxes at strategic locations around the company. Reward and appreciate your employees and customers for feedback and ideas.
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Unless you make continuous learning in the workplace your top priority, your job may be on the line. I want you to hold on to that thought. I will expound on it later. For now, let’s talk about change and its impact.
It’s no secret we’re now living in a world that is entirely different than the one we used to know.
Yes, the world is going through a total transformation. Things are changing at breakneck speeds. The reality is, there’s no turning back.
It’s obvious that the internet and cheap bandwidth are responsible for the disturbing change. We’re in the middle of a digital revolution that is creating panic and uncertainties.
Many people in the workplace are frozen waiting for things to get back to normal. Somehow, they think their company is going through a temporary crisis. They are unaware that this new normal world.
The reality is, change can be both scary and exciting at the same time. The things that frighten us the most sometimes bring incredible opportunities with them.
But, those opportunities will only be available to a few. Only those that are willing to embrace change will capitalize on them.
“In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”
Learn, Unlearn And Relearn To Stay Relevant
According to Eric Hoffer, you should be afraid if you are not you embrace continuous learning in the workplace.
So, I strongly advise you to continue to learn, unlearn, and relearn. If not, you’ll soon find yourself completely unnecessary in the workplace. Your skills will become obsolete.
That means you will not have a future in your company. But, the continuous learners will rise and soar to the top.
I am not trying to threaten you by any means. I am just sharing some good old common sense advice with you.
That’s what I mean when I say change sometimes brings incredible opportunities with it.
Not long ago, I delivered a motivational keynote presentation on change for Cbeyond. They an Atlanta-based company acquired by Birch Communications.
Cbeyond is an innovative company that stays on the cutting edge of technologies. Their employees told me in countless ways how well the company treats them. I hope Birch Communications keeps the same reputation.
At the time, they were facing a tough challenge. Their mandate was to be totally a cloud-based company within five years. It was necessary so they can stay competitive and profitable.
If you are not at the forefront of technology, you probably don’t know yet about cloud technology. It’s like running your entire business without hard drives, thumb drives, or storage devices. Everything is in the cloud.
That’s the future. Even the software we once bought at the electronic store is not in the cloud. Soon, no one will have a need for a hard drive.
That means you don’t need hundreds of wires to connect your computers with each other. They are all connected in the cloud. That’s amazing! Isn’t it?
My advice to the employees was simple. I told them that this change is a gift. It’s their opportunity to remain relevant. They need to embrace and accept it.
I encouraged them to excel in cloud technology. Learn everything that there is to learn about it. The reality is, this technology is not a fad. It is here to stay. It’s either they master it or become irrelevant in the workplace.
New Challenges And Problems
Today, new and different kinds of challenges or problems confront us. As they say in the digital age, the moment you figure out how something works, it’s obsolete.
As soon as the members of your team huddle to solve a problem, another one surfaces. It’s like someone is throwing curve balls at you constantly.
Sometimes, you find yourself unprepared to deal with the new problems or challenges. What do you do?
Choose to unlearn and relearn. Refuse to remain stuck in the past.
Unlearning and relearning will enable you to make swift decisions to solve tough problems.
Together, you have to outsmart and out-think the competition to win. The days when one would learn some new skills and repeat them for the next 20 years are over.
During these difficult and uncertain times, you have to be a perpetual student. You have to be and stay informed.
You can’t wait around for someone to tell you what and when to learn. No. It’s your job to stay current and relevant in the workplace.
The New Competition In The Workforce
Would you say that your competition is fiercer than ever as an employee? You bet! In the past, you were competing with a handful of people in your field.
Today, you would be surprised to discover who is your competition. As far as I know, you may be competing with a 24 years old in a remote village in the Philippines, India, or Jamaica.
What’s unnerving about this is the fact that your competition is willing to work for a fraction of your salary. I’m not saying it’s a good thing nor am I bragging about it.
I’m just trying to raise your awareness so you can step up your game. I’m attempting to cajole and persuade you to be a continuous learner in the workplace. You have to stay relevant and competitive.
I know we cannot replace high touch with high tech. Human beings need interactions to function. People don’t do business with companies. They do business with people.
A worker in Romania probably cannot provide such human connection. Yes, social media is providing the means for us to connect with each other. But, I doubt it can replace a warm face to face smile.
The point I’m trying to convey to you is very simple. Continuous learning in the workplace is your leverage. During these turbulent times, that’s what will make indispensable. That’s what will give you the edge.
Listen to Eric Hoffer’s advice or you will wake up to find yourself beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exist.
Lack of effective communication skills in the workplace is often the reason big companies mess up.
Two months ago I visited a relative at the hospital. I was there for about 4 hours. In that short period of time, I saw a whole staff of doctors and nurses working crazy. I mean, you would think the nurses, doctors, and the rest of the staff have never meet or seen each other before.
First, they came to the rooms and rolled the man out to draw fluid from of his lungs. Fifteen minutes while he was away from the room, another nurse came by to look for him. Guess what she came for? Fluid extraction.
We told her that he’s having the procedure done now. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She said.
One hour later, they rolled the man back to the room. Well, just 45 minutes later another nurse that was starting a new shift barged into the room. “Okay. It’s that time again, Sir. We have to take you away for a few minutes.” She politely said. My cousin said, “why”?. The reply was it’s time to draw fluids from his lungs.
“Wait a minute!” My cousin said, “How often you guys perform this procedure?” The reply was, “Every day.” My cousin said, “Dad just had this procedure done on him less than one hour ago. What are you guys doing to him?”
Of course the nurse profusely apologized. She said she is just taking over her shift. Now, mind you they had already overdosed the man with too much medication. (more…)