How to break bad habits and create better ones so you can achieve the success you want. We all have some bad habits that are preventing us from realizing our dreams. And those habits unconsciously creep on us. By the time we notice the habit, it’s already been formed.
Many people struggle in life and at work because of the habits that sneak up on them along the way. Have you ever wonder why someone is so successful in the workplace while others remain stuck in one position at the bottom of the ladder? It’s because that person develops some terrific habits of productivity.
The bad news is, it’s really hard to break those bad habits. Yes, it’s easy to form them. After all, we were present when we created them. There was no pain involved.
On the other hand, a good habit is rarely created on its own. It takes efforts to form them consciously. Fortunately, there’s a proven and scientific way to break those bad habits. That is exactly what this video is about.
Okay, why is breaking bad habits is so critical? Well, think about your future self. The habits you create now will most definitely dictate the quality of your life tomorrow.
Whether you agree with me or not, you are going to be 50, 60, or 70 years old. There’s no way around it. You will get old. You need to be kind to that 60 years old you. Be considerate and thoughtful. Be mindful.
If not, you will eventually end up living in regrets. You will be disappointed. You will live with a life full of resentments.
Nothing is sadder to meet a grumpy old man full of regrets moaning, complaining, and making excuses. He is blaming people, things, and circumstances. It’s the wife’s fault. It’s the government. It’s the boss. I mean one excuse after another.
How Habits Are Formed
To form a habit, it takes a trigger, behavior, and a reward. The trigger prompts you to take an action or behave a certain way. Then you feel good or great depending on the action. Every behavior has a good intention. Yes, I do mean every behavior. Even when the behavior is evil, the intention of the behavior is to reward the person.
There are two kinds of triggers. There’s the hot trigger. There’s the cold trigger.
The hot trigger is associated with instant gratification. Simply put, you get a reward instantly. You open the refrigerator and you see the ice cream. That’s a hot trigger. You then consume the ice cream. Then you feel good. You get rewarded.
How about a cold trigger? Now, we are talking about delayed gratification. You get the reward later. Let’s say you are driving and you hear an advertisement on the radio for something you are interested in. The announcer mentions the website.
Well, you cannot go to the site because you don’t have a computer and internet access right there. That’s a cold trigger. You will take the action and get the reward later.
The Habit Loop
So, the sequence of the trigger, routine or behavior, and reward is called the habit loop. It always happens in the same sequence without fail. Do you see how is you can create some bad habits without being aware of it?
How to Break Bad Habits
Okay, we talked about how we form those bad habits. How do we break them for good?
The answer is easy. Remove the triggers. Don’t put ice cream in your refrigerator. Make sure your environment is without hot triggers.
How to Form Good Habits
To form good habits, you need to learn how to turn your cold triggers into hot triggers. As I just mentioned, if you remove the alcohol or ice cream, they automatically become hot triggers.
Now, you have to get dressed, get in your car, and fight traffic to get the ice cream. All those steps might discourage you. Also, the reward is no longer instant. Since we know the brain is wired for instant gratification, it will find something else to reward it.
Keep this in mind, this is your real life. You are not on this earth to rehearse this life. Some people live as if they are coming back to do it for real. That’s pretty sad. That’s why I’m imploring to start breaking those bad habits as soon as you.
In life we always have choices. We can choose to focus on the negative or the positive. No one can take away that power from us.
Unfortunately, a lot of people choose to focus their energy on what not working versus what’s working. When the difficult times arrive, they choose to give them the wrong meaning.
Our lessons and gifts in life don’t always come as chocolate covered ice cream. Sometimes they come as a rose stem full of thorns. It’s not until we accept the thorns and plant the stem in the water of faith, the rose begins to unfold.
Some people would ask me if I’m always happy and fired up. They think because I’m a motivational speaker, life is always amazing for me. No, I’m not always Mr. Motivator. I have had moments of despair, worries, and uncertainties just like everybody. That’s called life. Please watch this video and you will see what I mean.
In life, you will always get what you tolerate. If you tolerate mediocrity, you will get more of it. If you tolerate others to behave a certain way, they will continue to do so until you put your foot down.
If you are an entrepreneur and some of your employees are mediocre, you need to stop tolerating them. If you don’t, they will eventually ruin your business. They will cause your good customers and employees to leave.
Simply put, pay people for excellence instead of lousiness. Reward excellence instead of mediocrity.
If you are a boss and some members of your team are unproductive and mediocre, don’t tolerate them. They can slow down your team members.
Now, I’m not asking you to go around and start firing people. If you think about it, most people have what it takes to be excellent. They have the internal resources to show up and perform at their best. They just don’t know how to access their available resources.
That means your first option is not to get rid of your underperforming team members. Instead, you should help and empower them to raise the bar of excellence on themselves.
The best way to do so is to first raise the bard on yourself. You have to model excellence for them. You also need to coach and train them.
In this video, you will discover the three ways to make sure everyone performs with excellence.
Being negative is our default. If you want to be positive and happy, you will need to work at it daily. I want to share with you the right triggers to psyche yourself so you can trigger your happy button.
The last time I had an interview, the lady asked me if I’m always pumped up, motivated, and happy. The answer is a big NO. There are times when I’m in the basement of life. Life is not always peachy and exciting for me. And I’m not alone.
The gurus, preachers, thought leaders, and motivational speakers you see out there have their own share of struggles just like everyone else. They are humans. They face the same challenges we all face.
The only difference is, somehow those preachers, teachers, and speakers believe they have some form of control over their situation. They have the right attitude about life. They know there’s always something they can do to improve. In psychology that is called locus of control.
Refuse Be A Victim
The reality is, the moment you realize there’s nothing you can do to overcome your current challenge, you are in trouble. You become a victim. And your victim attitude will cause you to remain stuck.
If you believe you have control, your mind will work overtime to come up with the right solutions and possibilities. You become the captain of your soul and the master of your destiny. The glass is half full instead of half empty.
You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, I don’t have any control over the way my husband, wife, or coworkers behave. I can’t change them.” You are right. People are going to be who they are regardless of your desire to change them.
But, I want you to know you still have some control. You can choose your reaction or the way you respond. You were born with that freedom. No one can take it away from you, even if you were behind bars in a prison cell. That’s right. You can still choose to react or respond to your circumstances the way you want to.
I know we are living in a world that can be very depressing. I also know we are living in the most exciting times in history. There are also so many things we can be happy about. It all depends on our focus.
If you wake up every day and start looking for what’s wrong with this world, you will find what’s wrong. On the other hand, if you wake up and start looking for what’s right, you will see what’s wrong. It’s that simple.
How to do you make sure you are always looking at the sunny side of everything? Is it possible to be happy and motivated with so many television stations broadcasting the bad news?
The answer is, YES!
Being negative is easy. All you have to do is to wake up. You don’t have to do anything. You will be sad, depressed, and happy. Other people in your environment will contribute to your dissatisfaction.
Here’s How To Be Happy And Motivated
To be positive and motivated, you will need to work at it. It’s not automatic. Every morning, you will need to work on yourself before you start interacting with others.
Start your morning with empowering rituals. Exercise, pray or meditate, listen to some powerful and uplifting music. Have some daily mantras. Tell yourself that today is going to be a FANTASTIC day. Remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive. Keep repeating your mantras through the day.
I know that sounds so trite. You probably say to yourself, “I heard that before. Nonsense.” But, can I ask you a question? Are you practicing that every day? You see, common sense is not common practice.
I am practically showing you how to mess with your mind instead of letting it mess with you. If you dismiss what I’m sharing here with you, that’s your mind messing with you.
I challenge you to start your day with a great exercise program, pray, meditate, read your affirmations aloud, and listen to uplifting music.
You WILL have a superb day. You will be a lot happier. You will have a much better attitude to face the day and negative people in your environment.
How would you like to more cooperation from your team members, teenage kids, or acquaintances? Is it possible to get people say yes without being pushy?
The answer is yes. There’s a way to get others to do your bidding or comply with your requests. Also, they will never know your strategy. You are about to learn how to do so in this video.
However, I urge to use this tool responsibly. It’s not intended for manipulation. It’s merely a way to get others to cooperate with you to get things done.
So, what I want to share with you is a magic phrase you can use to bypass the conscious mind and make the request to the subconscious mind. Here’s the phrase:
You don’t have to…
It’s that simple. You tell the person he or she doesn’t have to do what you are asking. Here’s why this is so powerful:
As human beings, the one thing we value and cherish above anything else is the freedom to choose. Any time someone tries to take it away from us, we are ready to fight.
That is why an entire nation would bend together and risk their lives in front of tanks and machine guns to overthrow a dictatorship government. When it comes to freedom no one is willing to negotiate.
Breakups happen in relationships because one partner is trying to dominate or take away the freedom of the other. Kids rebel because they feel like their parents are taking away their freedom.
When you tell a person he or she does not have to do something, you automatically let them know their freedom is not at stake. That’s how you get more compliance from others.
This is essentially one of the powerful tools for persuasion and influence. Simply put, it’s reverse psychology. Try it, and you will notice a drastic difference in the way people respond to you when you ask for a favor.
By the way, when you combine the word favor and this strategy, your odds will increase drastically.
Think about it this way, the word favor implies the person is not obligated to do what you are asking. Do you see why this can be so effective?
Let’s see how you can use this in a real-life situation. Suppose you are the leader in your company. Corporate just sent a memo to you about the need to have all your employees on deck tomorrow. They just launched a marketing campaign. They are expecting an influx of new customers.
One of your team members is supposed to be off on that day. You call a meeting with the employee. You say something like…
“I just received a memo from corporate. They are expecting a flood of new customers to come in tomorrow. They want everyone to be present. Sorry, it’s your off day. But we need to you to show up.”
How well do think that would go? Do you think that’s demanding instead of asking? Of course, it is demanding. Chances are, you will a no. Your team member will fight your demand.
Let’s see how you approach this differently. You tell the employee…
“I just received a memo from corporate. The VP of operations or marketing is expecting a flood of new customers. They want me to be fully staffed. I know tomorrow is your day off. But, I need you to do me a favor. Can you come tomorrow? You don’t have to. But if you did, it would mean the world to the team and me.”
Do you see how that would be different? You are asking. You are not imposing or demanding. You are leaving the person with the freedom to choose.
If you are the head of the human resources department, this strategy can be very useful to you. HR professionals often are the people who get to make a lot of unusual requests, especially during times of difficult change in the workplace.