How To Stop Demotivators In The Workplace From Stealing Your Joy

Demotivators in the workplace

You arrive at work with a cheerful mood and a positive attitude. You feel like it’s going to be an awesome day for you. Maybe you were singing a happy tune on your way to work. Well, unexpectedly, someone comes along and knock the wind out of your sail. That person ruined it all for you.

Suddenly, you find yourself in the basement of life. For the rest your day, you struggle to stay focused and get things done. Has that ever happened to you?

Years ago, I used to work with a supervisor who was a big demotivator. He would always find a reason to complain about something. He was grumpy. His life was miserable. As a result, he took great pleasures in making other people’s lives miserable as well.

Looking back, I often wonder how did that guy become a supervisor in the first place. Who hired him? I’m sure you’ve had moments when you ask yourself the same question about a certain supervisor, manager, or co-worker. Right?

I’m not sure who or what are your demotivators in the workplace. Maybe it’s your supervisor, manager, or co-worker. Chances are, it’s NOT a thing. It’s a human being doing it to you. At some point, someone decided to play the role of a jerk in your life, or in the workplace. And, they think it’s funny.

Okay, let’s not call anyone a jerk here. But, let me ask you this: How do you deal with such a person? Do you think you should try changing that person? Well, the answer is no. Have you ever tried to change somebody? How did that work for you? My guess is, you did not succeed. How do I know? I’ve tried it before. It didn’t work.

Years ago, I came to the realization that trying to change others is a waste of time and energy. The best solution is to change the way you respond to your demotivators. Here are a few ways to do so:

3 Simple Ways To Handle Your Demotivators In The Workplace


1- Come Prepared To Deal With Whatever

When you’re in a great mood, know that there may be someone waiting for you to steal your joy. You have to be pro-active. You see, if you live your life constantly reacting, demotivators in the workplace will always get to you. They will continue to push your hot buttons and distract you.

Being pro-active is simply preparing yourself to deal with what may come in the future. So, tell yourself that today you’re going to have a great day no matter what. Since you already know some demotivators are waiting for you at work, plan on how you’re going to react.

Tell yourself throughout your working day that no once can rob your good feelings. The moment a demotivator shows up, begin to tell yourself that this person cannot in any way steal your motivation. Do whatever is necessary to prepare yourself.

Sing a happy song during your drive to work. Repeat aloud some uplifting and positive affirmation. I know that sound kind of hockey. But, it really does work. As William James said, “I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.”

2- Don’t Offer Resistance

Human beings thrive on resistance. They cannot live without it. It’s how they gain strength and momentum to keep jerking other people around. Here’s what you need to keep in mind: When resistance meets resistance, it creates tension. For example, when your boss or a co-worker tries to push you around, they are looking for resistance. Resist the temptation of giving them what they want. Yes, resistance can sometimes be a good thing. I advise it when it comes to resisting the temptation to resist your demotivators.

The key is to weaken your demotivators by offering zero resistance. Now, I know it’s hard to take the non-resistance approach. Most people would think what I’m saying here it the behavior of a coward. However, that’s how you gain power.

Imagine for a moment that two people are pulling each other with a rope. The more they pull, the more power and tension they create. The moment one person let go of his or her resistance, the other becomes weak and fall. Do you see what I mean?

If you want to weaken the person who’s pulling your rope in the workplace to demotivate you, don’t pull back. Let go of the need to resist. I guarantee you that the person will leave you alone and go find a better target. Once you let go, your demotivator will fall flat on his or her behind. Come to think of it, that’s good. It’s not a bad thing, isn’t it?

3- Don’t Quit… Don’t Walk Away

Don’t you ever think about quitting your job because of a demotivator. You’ve invested too much in it. Just keep adding fuel to your motivational engine.

Keep pressing on. You see; others will steal your joy and happiness. It’s a given. Most people can’t stand when you are happy when they are not. That’s why they will do something or find a way to upset you.

My advice to you is not to focus on their unnecessary criticism. No. Let it fall off your back like water off a duck’s back.

Staying motivated is a full time job. Every time you think about walking away, take a quick break and go outside to deliberately breathe. Remember this: You are fully responsible for your peace of mind. You have to keep going even when don’t feel like it.

Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t quit. The reality is, no matter where you go, there will be demotivators waiting for you. Your job is to learn how to deal with them tactfully. Always take the high road instead of acting like them or quitting your job.

What I just shared with you may sound simple. Yet, they are powerful. The moment you start living a pro-active life, offer zero resistance, and keep pressing on. Your life in the workplace will never be the same. You will find yourself living a stress-free life. People will not target you as their bait. You will be more focused and less distracted.

You will find yourself in control of situations that are not pleasing. You’ll be able to push your own buttons to feel the way YOU want to feel. That’s power. Use it to your great advantage. Use it as your leverage.


  1. barbara alexandre

    Great video and insights! Thank you for your advice!


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