Is this person qualified? Does this person know how to ask the prospective employee the right questions to get the person to come from behind the mask and actually reveal who she is or who he is? Even though you didn’t hire the person, even though you have nothing to do with it. But as a manager, as a supervisor, as a leader or even as a co-worker, you are the one who is going to put up with the behavior of that person.
Let’s see actually how you can go to that person, have a conversation, and let him or her know, hey, your attitude is nasty. You have a very bad behavior. You need to do something about it. But without actually offending the person, without actually causing any hard feelings, without causing any animosity. So let’s get to it right now. Use this strategy. I call it P.S.P. I want to break down exactly what I mean by P.S.P.
Let’s start with number one. P is for praise. What I mean by that is you must be an elevator at the start of the meeting. What you do is you praise the person for something specific that they have done. That was noteworthy. That was actually a good thing. I actually created a video about that and I’m going to put it on the screen at the end of this video so you can watch it is about how a leader can motivate or inspire anyone.
Actually, you don’t even have to be a leader. Anyone can use those strategies to inspire and motivate other people. So make sure to wait for the end of this video to watch it. You need to praise the person right at the beginning of the conversation. You want to bring the person up. You want to give the person a shot of dope. I in dopamine is actually the chemical that the brain releases when we are happy when we are excited.
So bring the person up. The way to do so is to find a specific time. The more specific you are, the better. When the person actually did something, write something, noteworthy and share it and say, hey, you know, I remember and such and such date what you did for us, that really means a lot to me. And it means a lot to the team. You keep praising the person to show your appreciation and gratitude, just to show that you are actually happy that they are on the team.
Number two is the S in the PSP. That means SHARE. Oh, yes. You are now ready to share the real reason why you are having a meeting with this person. Remember, you praised the person first. The person is way up there. Now you can share about the bad behavior or attitude. There is one key phrase you must always, always use before you share about the behavior or the attitude that’s going to really help the person to be in a better position to receive the negative feedback that you are about to share.
The phrase is you can do better. Let me use it in a sentence so that you know what I mean. You said something like this. The reason we are having this meeting today is to talk about an area where I think you can do better. Why do you say you can do better? That implies that the person is not actually bad. You are good already. We can do better. Let me caution you. Never, never, never make the person the behavior, because whenever somebody is behaving a certain way, they are not the behavior.
They are simply exhibiting their social conditioning. There is no such thing as a bad person. There is only bad programming or bad conditioning. The question is, how do you make sure the person does not feel he or she is the behavior? What do you do? Well, it’s actually very simple. At the time you were all going to mention the behavior, the negative. You would never point at the person. You always point to away.
That’s your way of self. Berating the person from the behavior as an example. Whenever I’m on a stage speaking, if I’m showing something negative, I’m talking about, let’s say the losers. I’m talking about the naysayers. That discourages. I am pointing away because they are not in the room. I don’t want to signal to the audience members that they are the gossipers. I’m talking about the are the losers. I’m talking about. No, I don’t want to do that.
You praise the person and you share. You believe there is an area where the person can do better. Remember, you can do better, which means you are good, but you can always improve. Then you say something. Hey Suzie, I notice lately you’ve been slacking a little. Do you see I’m pointing away when I say slacking? If the person is coming late you say. However, lately, you’ve been coming late pretty much every day.
And that is outside. That is a way because that’s not the person you get it. Number three is P, which is PSP. That’s the second P. Can you guess what it is? It’s actually praising. You praise that person before you close the conversation. In fact, you would never, ever leave a conversation without ringing the person up, whether it is a friend.
It is a child. It is a parent. It is a coworker. It really doesn’t matter. You never end a conversation leaving the person in the basement on a negative note. You must leave them on a high note. When I’m speaking on a stage, let’s say I’m sharing a sad story is a story that is kind of depressing.
I don’t want to move to the next point without having a buffer, some kind of laughter right at the end of the story to bring the audience up, because if I leave them down, it’s going to be very hard for me to bring them up and is going to be very hard for them to receive what I’m sharing with them or to stay with me. Let the person know one last time. How much you appreciate him or her on the team.
You say, hey, I just want you to know that you are very valuable.
That I really appreciate you on the team.
And I remember you did this, you did that, or whatever it is that you keep praising that person. You don’t need to be a manager, a supervisor or a leader to use this strategy. You use this strategy in conversation with co-workers, in conversation with friends, in conversation with your kids. You use the praise. Share and praise. Always leave them on a high note. By the way, if you enjoyed this video and you like the content, please give it a thumbs up, share it with your co-workers.
And don’t forget to subscribe and hit the notification bell so that when I put a new video up, you’ll be the first one to get a notification that the video is ready. Take care. Have a good one.
How to deal with difficult employees in the workplace is one of the questions I am asked often as I travel the country keynoting conferences. I want to take a moment to give you some tips about it. You see, it’s just like any game.
Once you know and master the rules, you can win. Here’s one fact you must keep in mind when it comes to dealing with difficult employees: As long as you are dealing with people, there will be conflict.
Please read the last statement again and engrave it in your brain. For whatever reason, most people expect the world to behave and act the way they think the world should. Crazy! Of course, it would be ideal. Life would be so easy! But I hate to be the bad news bearer here.
People will always act and behave according to their world… Not yours.
If you can get what I just said, you will be well on your way to dealing with difficult people. You will begin to understand humanity on a whole new level. In fact, your world will change. And you should know the moment your world change, you change. Isn’t that beautiful, ugh?
Alright, now that we established people will behave the way they want to in the workplace, let’s look at how we can deal with those people.
4 Simple Strategies on How to Deal With Difficult Employees:
1- Let Them Be Who They Are
Do not try to change and reshape them. Here’s what you say to yourself when they start giving you an attitude: “That’s just the way he is.” Have you ever tried to change people to see things the way you see them? Did you succeed? Were you frustrated? Guess what?
The more you try to change others, the more you hurt yourself; the more stress you create for yourself.
2- Do No Allow Them To Get Under Your Skin
What people say or do is just it. Everything else is your interpretation of the act or behavior. Really. It’s not what happens to us. It’s what we say to ourselves after it happens. Do you see what I mean? Shake your head and say, “yes”.
Most people love drama. They love to make a mountain out of a molehill. Someone says something and they go out and start creating or fabricating a whole story about what was said. As a result, the person that said it starts living under their skin. That’s insane! Stop it!
3- Feed Their Ego
This is a hard one. And I say this because some people think when we consciously feed someone’s ego, we are being weak. That is the complete opposite! Listen, what I’m telling you this is the magic pill to turn anyone into a piece of clay in your hand.
As soon as someone is trying to belittle or say mean things to you or about you, start showering them with kindness, compliments, or even gifts. They will feel weak! Try and you’ll the results. You will be in total control. Just don’t use it for manipulation.
4- Do Not Resist Them
Remember this: Whatever you persist will resist. That’s a natural law. Try to put something on the path of water and you’ll see how it builds momentum. That is how electricity is produced through the water. Extreme resistance creates raw power.
Here’s how you can try this: As soon as you get into an argument and it starts getting tense, tell the person, “I’m completely sorry. You are right.” Say it even if you think you are absolutely right. Now, I’m not saying to stand your ground for the truth. Although that are many other ways to skin that cat which I don’t have time to get into right now.
I just gave you four simple ways to handle difficult employees. But don’t just use them to deal with employees or co-workers. Use them to handle your personal friends and family members as well. The moment you begin to apply them in your life, your relationship with others will improve remarkably.
Your life will never be the same. The things that used to hurt you will cease to dwell in your head. People will want to be your friend. And best of all, the same people that used to irritate you, will be converted into pleasant individuals. They will behave differently. Now you see what I mean about when you change, the world changes.