4 Ways To Stop Feeling Discouraged And Depressed

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Feeling discouraged or depressed is a fact of life. Whether you are rich or poor, you will experience discouragement. That explains why a famous person with millions of fans and a truckload of money would commit suicide.

You see, discouragement can sap your energy. It can make you feel like life is not worth living. It can kill your motivation to the point you don’t want to do anything.

Maybe you are going through some difficult change in the workplace or your personal life. Maybe someone disappointed you. And you want to give up on yourself.

Perhaps you did everything you could to make things better. You poured your heart out. But the situation continues to get worse.

Look, I don’t know what is the source of your discouragement. But, what I know for sure is that if you hang in there, the tide will turn in your favor. I promise you that things will eventually get better.

I have no doubt that you went through some difficult change in your life. You didn’t think you were going to get through it. Right? But, guess what? You did.

5 Ways To Stop Feeling Discouraged

1: Model The Caterpillar’s Way Of Dealing With Discouragement

Do not rush the process. There’s no success without a process.

Whether you are dealing with a relationship, workplace, or business problem, you should understand you are in a process. A little patience goes a long way. You should hang in there!

The process is your teacher. It’s revealing to you what you are made of. It’s your test. As the saying goes, there’s no testimony without a test. 

You need you embrace the process and be a patient student.  

Have you ever seen a caterpillar cocooning? Can you guess what would happen if slice the silky pouch to help the caterpillar become a butterfly faster?

The answer is simple. You will kill it.

The caterpillar knows to keep pressing on and stay in the process. If it feels discouraged and give up, it is doomed. 

Sometimes, you do not see the results fast enough because you are not ready. You don’t get what you want because it’s not right thing or time for you.

As the saying goes, “Patience is a virtue.” I believe a lack of patience is a lack of gratitude as well. The key is to focus on your progress versus your lacks. As long as you are making some type of progress, you should not be feeling discouraged.

When I first came to the United States, I was a broke immigrant. Nobody wanted to give me a job because I didn’t speak any English.

My discouragement and disappointment level were at an all-time high. Imagine if I had given up and decided to go back to Haiti. What would life be today for me?

Maybe you are having financial or relationship difficulties. Maybe you are getting impatient because you are not seeing the results fast enough. You probably feel stuck. 

I just want you to understand no condition is permanent. Things will change. One day you will look back and feel very happy you did not give up.

But, you must not quit. As you might already know, quitters don’t win. Be patient. Have a reverence for the process.

2: Take Ownership Of The Situation

The moment you feel like the situation is totally out of your control, you have no power to change it.

Whatever you cannot control in your life, controls you. It’s either you take ownership or let it ruin your life.

If you are saying to yourself, “Rene, you are right. I feel like I have no control over this situation I’m dealing with. What do you suggest?”

Well, you can simply choose to change the way you are reacting or responding.

If you have no control over the situation, don’t focus all your energy into it. 

The reality is, there’s always something you can do to make things better. Quit saying, “Why is this happening to me?” Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do to change this situation?”

The kind of questions you are consistently asking yourself will determine how you feel about the challenge. Don’t ask, “Why am I struggling so much?” Change the question to, “How can I change the way things are for me?”

Disempowering questions will only sink you deeper into depression and discouragement. They can cause you to think the worse will happen.

Ask yourself questions that give you a sense that you own the situation. You are in control and you are not a victim.

I’m not saying it’s your fault. I’m just trying to get to see you cannot change the way people behave or the external circumstances. It’s a waste of time and energy. 

Choose to change what’s within your control. By that I mean the way you are feeling or  what you are saying to yourself. If there’s something you can do that’s within your control, do it instead of losing sleep over what’s outside of your control.

3: Don’t Be Attached to The Outcome

There’s no guarantee that things will turn out according to your expectations. Be prepared to accept any outcome.

Most people are devastated when they don’t get the outcome they had in mind. They think all their expectations should be met.

I’m not saying you should not expect the best. I’m saying to accept what you end up with and move on. It makes no sense to continue feeling discouraged long after the event. Put it behind you. Set some new expectations and be ready to embrace whatever happens.

One of my coaching clients started creating videos for YouTube. Once he realized he was not getting enough views, he gave up. Let me tell you why.

It’s because he doesn’t understand what it means to be passionate about his craft. When painters, singers, or performers are creating, they never worry about the crowd.

The outcome of their hard work may be a standing ovation. It may also be criticism. Either way they don’t mind. Passionate people do things because of the internal satisfaction they. They understand perfection comes from imperfections.

Masters often lose themselves in the act of creation. They are more concerned about creating a masterpiece than applause. Their two main habits are patiences and hard work.

4. Change Your Physiology

When people are feeling discouraged or depressed, their first tendency is to curl under a cover and have a pity party. They don’t want to deal with other people. They shut off.

Sadly, isolating yourself from the world generates more discouragement and depression. Notice how your body responds to your thoughts. The physiology of a happy, excited, and fulfilled person is totally different from that of a discouraged person.

But, we can instantly change our physiology by changing our thoughts or our movements. Don’t stay in one place. Don’t avoid people. Be on the move. Have you ever noticed how busy people have no time to feel sorry for themselves?

Motion creates emotion. If you want to change your current feeling, you must move your body. Do something physical.

Go to the park for a walk or to the gym to work out. Go to a networking event. Although the Coronavirus is now changing how we interact with each other. But, I believe we will get back to normal living soon.

4. Listen to Uplifting Music

Music is an awesome therapy. For thousands of years, it has been impacting our lives. You can literally create a shift in someone in an instant by playing moving music for them. They won’t be able to resist feeling better. It’s not up to them. The brain will do the work.

If you want to boost your energy or get over your discouragement put on your favorite songs. Yes, that is movement. First, you have to put the music on. You will feel compelled to shake your body.

There are many irrefutable scientific types of research about the benefits of music and exercising. They increase your focus, changes your moods, boosts your productivity, and keeps you healthy.

If you can hit the gym and listen to mood altering songs when you are feeling discouraged, you would all set.

By the way, I’m curious. What is it that is making you feel discouraged or depressed. Share it below. I might have some specific advice for you.


  1. Trevor

    I’ve been feeling discouraged for so long, not because I am failing something but because I don’t seem to have found my career or my passion. This is so bad.

    • Rene Godefroy

      Trevor, I think there might be something much bigger than not being able to find you career or passion. It’s like focusing on the tip of the iceberg which is only 10%.

      I can’t tell what it is without exploring it together with you. However, ff you get it straight, your career and passion will appear to you. Thus, you will feel more fulfilled and joyful.

      Most of us are pursuing the things we want by exerting willpower. Simply put, we are seeking out there.

      The reality is, we should create the mental condition to pull what we want toward us instead of pursuing it. Hope you understand. If not, reach out to me, so we can schedule a conversation.

  2. Tod Kneeland

    I’ve been looking for a job for a year and I don’t seem to be able to find one

    • Rene Godefroy

      Sorry to hear that. It’s hard out there.

      I am wondering what are your strategies. Looking for a job is like marketing. You can spend millions of dollars marketing your business and still go bankrupt.

      You have to target your dream customers with the perfect message that hit their pain points and hook them emotionally. You also have to cut through the noise to stand out.

      Finally, the most crucial aspect of it all is the mindset. What you are saying to yourself on a consistent basis creates your reality. The truth of the matter is, we know no matter how tough things are out there, there are still millions of jobs available.

      Consider reading this post, you might pickup a few tips: https://www.renegodefroy.com/ideal-job/


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