Most managers want to know how to deal with toxic employees, and they want the answer as soon as possible. That’s understandable. One negative person can drain a whole team. Employee negativity spreads fast. They can make life miserable for everyone. They can create divisions and cause your team to split into sides. Everyone walks on eggshells, afraid to say the wrong thing.

You keep putting off the difficult conversation hoping things will be okay. I can tell you from my experience that things will not get better on their own. It’s going to require your intervention. Otherwise the toxic employee will continue to do more damage.

One toxic person can poison your whole team

You know who I am talking about. The one who complains in every meeting. The one who gossips in the hallway. The one who shoots down every idea before it gets a chance. You dread talking to them. Your team dreads working next to them. Their disruptive behavior dims the light in the room. Some people are even afraid to show up at work because of them.

When I was a boy in my village in Haiti, I saw a swarm of bees. I asked an old man named Mr. Raphael what they were doing. He told me the bees were looking for sweetness to make honey. Then he told me that rattlesnakes are just as busy. They are sucking bitter leaves to make poison.

He then said, “A lot of people are just like that. Some are bees. Some are rattlesnakes. Son, never be a rattlesnake. Focus on the honey in life.” Those words have stayed with me all my life.

Today, I take those words to workplaces as a message from Mr. Raphael to their team. Your workplace has both types of people. The bees bring high energy and ideas that impact the bottom line. The rattlesnakes drain the energy and pollute the work environment.

What it costs you when you wait

Most managers hope the problem will fix itself. Don’t be naive. It will not. Here is what happens the longer you wait.

Your entire team is watching. Every week you do nothing, you teach them that bad behavior is allowed here. Team morale drops fast. Your bees will get sick and tired. They will stop showing up as their best selves. Employee disengagement becomes another issue to deal with. Soon they will start looking for the door.

Believe it or not, better pay will not fix the problem. You can raise salaries all you want. Assuming that is under your control. A team that feels poisoned by the rattlesnakes will still bail out eventually.

In the long run, the cost of one toxic team member can be astronomical. You spend your focus and energy worrying about one person instead of nurturing the team. I bet this is not why you took that position.

Negativity is also contagious. Spend enough time around a complainer and you start complaining too. Pretty soon you are complaining about the complainers. Pretty soon others join the rattlesnake party. And a toxic workplace culture starts to build.

By the way, I might as well say this: Look in the mirror first.

This part surprises me. I have a video on YouTube about workplace gossip. A lot of the comments are not about coworkers. They say things like, “What if my boss is the one gossiping about me?” Sometimes the rattlesnake has the corner office. I hope I’m wrong about this, because it would be sad.

So what do most managers do? When I ask a room what they would do with a rattlesnake, they always say the same thing. Cut off its head.

I understand the feeling. There was a time I wanted to do just that. Firing should be your last resort. Sometimes it is needed. But it should not be your first step.

The reality is, the very culture you are protecting can be the source of the problem. It can be the one breeding those rattlesnakes. That means you get rid of one now and soon another one appears.

How to deal with toxic employees: pour honey on them

Mr. Raphael told me there was a better way. Pour honey on them. A rattlesnake cannot resist love.

Pouring honey does not mean being soft. It means starting with care instead of punishment. Here is how those difficult conversations can go.

1- Pull them aside, privately. Never call someone out in front of the team. Start with something real you value about them, a compliment. Everyone has something worth praising.

2- Investigate: Find out why they act this way. Ask, “What is going on? Is there something we need to work out?” Then stop talking and listen.

Maybe they feel invisible. Maybe they were passed over. Maybe the problem is not them at all. As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. Stress, burnout, and trouble at home all follow people into work.

3- Name the behavior and its impact: They might ask you to explain what you mean. That’s when you want to be clear and specific. Do not say, “You have a bad attitude.” Say, “In Tuesday’s meeting, you rolled your eyes when Maria shared her idea. She stopped talking for the rest of the meeting.”

Mention the facts, not labels. For more on giving honest feedback, SHRM has a short read on dealing with a toxic co-worker.

4- Say what you need to see instead: Narrow down one or two specific changes that need to happen. Write them down together. Set a date to check in. Better yet, let them help shape the solution. Ask what two or three things they would suggest to help solve the problem. Employee behavior correction works best when they own it.

5- Write it down. After every talk, write a short note. Put the date, what you said, and what you both agreed on. Keep it factual. Keep it private. If things do not improve, this record protects you and your team. Talk to HR before you take any formal step.

In the meantime, look for chances to celebrate and appreciate them. As you work through this process, there will be some progress. Acknowledge it.

Keep pouring honey on them anyway

I once worked with a man who tried to destroy me. I wanted to fight back. Instead, I kept pouring honey on him. At first, he did not respond. But slowly, he became a bee. He even apologized to me.

That does not happen every time. But it happens more often than you might imagine.

Sometimes the problem is workplace conflict, not the person. When I was a young man, I worked at the hotel. The first shift always complained about the second shift. The second shift did the same thing to the third.

The issue was that the shifts did not really know each other. They didn’t know the load each shift carried. They assumed they were doing all the work. Sometimes the rattlesnake is just someone nobody took the time to understand. Other times, it’s someone who is not getting enough credit for their hard work.

When the honey does not work

Pouring honey does not mean you ignore the poison. If you’ve tried everything within your power and nothing changes, it’s time to put your foot down. Be firm. You have to protect the people who are doing the right thing.

Feed the bees too

While you are working on the rattlesnake, do not neglect the bees. Give them your attention. Be present for them. Praise and celebrate them. Show them they are more important than the rattlesnakes. A bee who feels seen will keep making honey. That is how team trust grows.

I know this is a lot of work. It would be so much easier to get rid of that one difficult employee. But that would be sending the wrong signal to the rest of the team even though some of them would be very happy the rattlesnake is gone.

Also, take care of yourself. Don’t let this one person drain you so much that you can’t carry on. Observe what’s going on. But don’t let it bring you down. I will write an entire post on self-care soon.

How to deal with toxic employees as a manager: your questions answered

How to deal with toxic employees as a manager?

Start with a private conversation. Praise something real, ask what is going on, and listen. Then name the behavior with facts. Say what you need to see instead. Write down what was said in every conversation for your records. Check in on a set date for progress. Most managers skip the listening and recording parts.

How to deal with disrespectful employees as a manager?

Address it right away. But do it in private. Praise in public. Confront negative behaviors in private. The sooner, the better. Do not wait for the next meeting. Describe what you saw, like the eye roll or the interruption, and how it affected the team. Do not blame or condemn. Ask for clarity to make sure what you observe is right. Employee accountability starts when managers nip the issue in the bud.

How do you outsmart a toxic employee?

You don’t. The moment you start playing games, you become a rattlesnake too. Be honest. Be consistent. Keep your focus on the behavior, not the person. Pour the honey and let the facts do the work.

Can you give me some examples of toxic employees undermining their bosses?

Here are three I see often. They criticize your decisions to coworkers but say nothing in the meeting. They agree with you in person, then ignore the plan. They hold back information so you look bad. Do not answer with revenge. Ask for a private talk and stick to what you have seen. Also ask yourself this: does your team feel safe telling you the truth? Sometimes people go behind your back because they do not feel safe speaking up in front of you. That is a psychological safety problem.

Should you fire a toxic employee even if they are high performers?

Do not give them a free pass. Your team is watching. Great results should never excuse bad behavior. If you let it slide, your bees learn that honey does not matter here. Your best bees start looking for the door. Hold them to the same standard as everyone else. Give them a fair chance to change. If they will not, you may have to let go of the results to protect the team.

How long should you give a toxic employee to improve before termination?

There is no magic number. What matters is that the timeline is clear, in writing, and shared with the employee. Check in on a set date. If you see real progress, keep going. If nothing changes after you have tried everything within your power, it is time to move forward.

What legal considerations should managers know before firing a toxic employee?

I am not a lawyer and I never played on TV. Talk to HR or an employment attorney before you take any drastic measure. Keep your notes factual, and treat everyone fairly. Also know this: harassment, threats, discrimination, and workplace bullying are employee misconduct. They are not attitude problems. Do not pour honey first on those. Take them to HR the same day.

Start this week

Pick one troublemaker. Pull them aside. Lead with some kind words. Then ask what is going on. Then listen.

Let me conclude by saying this. Learning how to deal with toxic employees is not about winning. It is about protecting the people who want to do good work, and giving everyone else a fair chance to be happy at work.

If you want help with this on your team, let’s talk. Bring the real problem your team is facing.

Much success to you! Press on!