Delayed gratification is the ability to give up a small reward now for a bigger reward later. Research from the famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment linked this one skill in young children to better test scores, health, and success decades later.

The good news for parents and teachers: delayed gratification is not something kids are born with. It can be taught through simple activities like gardening, board games, savings jars, and one habit that matters more than all the rest. This guide shows you exactly how.

Let me start with a promise.

Two words guaranteed to make any kid wealthy and successful.

It’s a gift you can’t find at Walmart or any store. It’s too valuable and precious.

I’m going to show you how to give it to any child in your life for free.

But first, let me ask you this.

Have you heard of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment?

What Is the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment?

Back in the 1960s and early 1970s, Stanford psychologist Walter Mischel sat little kids at a table, one at a time. He placed one marshmallow in front of each child.

Then he made each child an offer. Eat it now, or wait 15 minutes to get one more. Then you’ll have two marshmallows.

He walked out.

Some kids ate the marshmallow before the door closed. Some covered their eyes. One kid licked the table around it. Sounds funny, doesn’t it?

About one in three patiently waited. They won the second marshmallow.

Here’s the part that is shocking.

Mischel and his colleagues followed those kids for decades. In follow-up studies published by Mischel, Shoda, and Peake, the children who waited did better in life. Higher test scores. Better ability to handle stress, frustration, and setbacks.

The gift is two words.

Delayed gratification.

The patience to give up a small reward now for a bigger reward later.

Why Does Delayed Gratification Matter So Much?

Think about it. This is a microwave world. Everybody wants it now. That’s why so many people struggle.

The person with short term thinking goes for the quick certificate. The person with long term thinking studies harder and longer. They become doctors, attorneys, and scientists. Same starting line. Different finish line. The difference is the willingness to delay gratification.

Let me tell you a story that still bothers me.

Years ago, a guy told me how he made a killing every tax season. He would prepare a refund, then offer the client a deal. Pay me a big fat fee now and get your money today. Or pay a small fee to get the refund in a few days.

You can guess what most people chose. Right?

Give it to me now.

That one behavior, repeated over a lifetime, is the difference between broke and wealthy.

Here’s the good news. Delayed gratification can be taught. And if you are a parent, a teacher, or a leader of teachers, you are the chosen one to teach it.

How Do You Teach Kids Delayed Gratification? 7 Simple Ways

1. Play Monopoly Together

Invest in the game of Monopoly. It’s only a $20 tool. Every turn forces a choice. Spend your cash now, or save it to buy houses that pay you later.

Your child will feel the lesson instead of hearing a lecture.

Oh, by the way, learn to play it as well so you can play with them. It will open your mind to practice delayed gratification too.

2. Plant a Garden

This one might be the most powerful of all.

Give a child a few seeds. Let them push the seeds into the soil with their own little fingers. Then teach them to water, pull weeds, and wait.

Nothing happens for days. Then a tiny green shoot appears. Weeks later, a tomato or a flower.

The child learns a lesson no lecture can teach. You plant today. You nurture faithfully. You harvest later.

Then you connect it to life. Studying hard is watering. Asking questions is pulling weeds. The diploma, the career, the dream is the harvest. A child who has grown one tomato understands the whole game of success.

3. Use a Clear Savings Jar

Your child wants a toy. Instead of buying it, give them a clear jar and small ways to earn a dollar or two.

The jar must be clear. That part matters. Watching the money rise toward the goal teaches the feeling of progress. When they finally buy the toy with their own saved money, the reward tastes different. They earned the second marshmallow.

4. Teach Chess or Checkers

In chess, you sometimes give up a piece now to win the game later. That is delayed gratification in its purest form.

A child who learns to sacrifice a pawn for a checkmate three moves away is learning to think past today. Checkers works for younger kids. The lesson is the same.

5. Bake Bread From Scratch

Bread dough has to rise. There is no shortcut. No microwave button.

Mix the dough with your child, cover it, and set a timer. Let them peek and see it growing. The waiting is the recipe. Then reward the patience with warm bread they made themselves.

6. Read a Long Chapter Book Together

One chapter a night. No skipping ahead.

The child goes to bed wanting to know what happens next. They wake up still wanting it. Night after night, they learn that the best stories, like the best rewards, come to those who keep showing up.

7. Keep Every Promise You Make

This is the foundation under all six methods above.

A child waits for the second marshmallow only when they trust it’s coming. In fact, when researchers at NYU and UC Irvine revisited the marshmallow findings in 2018, they found that a child’s environment shapes their willingness to wait. Children wait when their world has taught them that promised rewards actually arrive.

That means every kept promise, no matter how small, teaches a child that waiting pays. Every broken promise teaches the opposite.

If you say “we’ll finish this tomorrow,” finish it tomorrow. If you promise the reward, deliver the reward. Your word is the soil everything else grows in.

How Do You Teach Delayed Gratification in the Classroom?

If you are a teacher, a preschool educator, or a Head Start leader, you can build this skill into your classroom without buying anything.

Start with tiny waits. Don’t ask a young child to wait two weeks. Ask for ten minutes. “Finish this page and you pick the story after lunch.” Then stretch the wait little by little as trust grows.

Make progress visible. A sticker chart, a marble jar, a paper chain. A child who watches something grow learns that waiting works.

Share stories where the moral is delayed gratification. Children remember stories long after they forget rules.

Gamify it. Classroom point systems let kids choose between spending small now or saving for something bigger. The lesson lands because they chose it.

Never use food as the test. For a child who knows hunger, waiting on food is not a character exercise. Use privileges, choices, and experiences instead.

Keep every promise. In a classroom, the teacher’s kept word is the whole curriculum. For some children, you may be the first reliable promise in their life.

Don’t just teach letters and numbers. Teach wealth principles. Teach children to invest now for dividends later. I know you are brilliant or you wouldn’t be teaching. Be creative.

The Woman Who Taught Me to Wait

I learned this lesson from a woman named Tati Da.

I grew up in a small village in Haiti. Tati Da spoke a future over me before I could see it. She taught me that the bigger reward was worth the longer wait.

It took me years to collect my second marshmallow. I came to America at 21 with almost nothing. I washed cars. I opened doors. I kept planting and watering when there was no harvest in sight.

Today I stand on stages speaking to leaders at companies like Coca-Cola, AT&T, and Aflac. I’m still collecting that second marshmallow, many times over. Beyond anything I imagined.

Teach a child to wait and you hand them the keys to the vault of abundance in anything.

No condition is permanent.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is delayed gratification?

Delayed gratification is the ability to resist a small reward now in order to receive a bigger reward later. In the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, children who waited 15 minutes earned a second marshmallow. In life, it looks like saving instead of spending, studying instead of quitting, and practicing instead of giving up.

At what age can children learn delayed gratification?

Children as young as preschool age can begin learning it. The original marshmallow studies were done with children around four and five years old. Start with very short waits, a few minutes, and stretch them slowly as the child builds trust and confidence.

What are the best games to teach delayed gratification?

Monopoly is one of the best because every turn forces a choice between spending now and saving for bigger rewards later. Chess and checkers teach children to sacrifice a piece now to win later. Simple homemade games work too, like a clear savings jar with a goal or a classroom marble jar.

Why do some kids struggle to delay gratification?

Often it is not a lack of willpower. Research published in 2018 by teams at NYU and UC Irvine found that a child’s environment shapes their willingness to wait. A child who has learned that promises get broken will grab the reward now, because that is the smart move in their world. The fix is trust. Adults who keep every promise teach children that waiting pays.

About the Author

Rene Godefroy is a keynote speaker, coach, and author of Kick Your Excuses Goodbye: No Condition Is Permanent. He came to America from Haiti at 21 with almost nothing and built a speaking career spanning more than two decades. He has been featured on CBS 60 Minutes, TBN, and ABC, and has spoken for organizations including Coca-Cola, AT&T, Aflac, and the U.S. Army. Rene speaks to Head Start leaders, educators, and corporate teams about resilience, hope, and building futures children and employees can trust.

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